Therapy Resources
ATTENTION! As a mental health advocate, as well as a therapist in Austin, my goal is to help as many people as possible gain insight into relationship dynamics and the role mental health plays in them. Below you’ll find therapy resources defining challenges many relationships face, mental health issues that impact both individuals and relationships, and techniques therapists like myself use to highlight and overcome the resulting issues. When reading, keep in mind that the relationships we’re referring to are not limited to romantic relationships.
Intrarelationship Issues
Financial Abuse – Withholding finances and/or using finances as a means to control one’s partner. This often happens if one partner makes substantially more than the other, or if one partner sacrifices their career to focus on raising a family.
Gaslighting – A form of manipulation in which the abuser attempts to distort the truth to cause doubt and confusion as a means to gain power over the other person.
Gray Rocking – A method for neutralizing manipulative behavior that involves expressing disinterest and denying the manipulator the reaction they seek, with the goal of causing them to lose interest.
Isolation – Within abusive relationships, one partner will often isolate the other from their friends and family, who might be seen as a threat to intervene against the abusive behaviors.
Lovebombing – A manipulation tactic in which one partner (or sometimes ex partner) inundates the other with affection and attention to regain trust, which is weaponized for a predetermined purpose.
Projection – Used either as a defense mechanism or a form of subconscious coping, projection assigns one’s internal thoughts and feelings to another person in hopes of achieving a predetermined result.
Stonewalling – Refusing to communicate or cooperate in order to create distance between parties and prevent conversations from going in a direction that doesn’t serve one’s greater motive.
Triangulation – A control tactic used to divide and threaten exclusion in order for one person to feel secure and superior to another. This dynamic is most often found within toxic family systems.
Weaponized Incompetence – Feigning the inability to carry out tasks in order to shirk responsibility while causing someone else to devote time and/or resources to pick up the slack.
What do healthy couples do?
Over time, couples slip into patterns that, if left unchecked, can lead to resentment and a host of other issues. Healthy couples approach situations with a teamwork mindset, are accepting of each other’s positions even when disagreeing, acknowledge and address problems, and prioritize repairing after conflict.
Mental Health Challenges
ADHD – Two characteristics of this disorder — impulsiveness and the inability to maintain attention — cause friction within relationships, especially with neurotypical partners who sometimes develop resentment towards these behaviors.
Attachment Styles – Your attachment style determines whether you tend to push your partner away (avoidant), smother them (anxious), or handle relationship challenges with a healthy balance. Identifying attachment styles is key in learning to handle these challenges alongside one’s partner.
Bipolar Disorder – A cyclical disorder in which one experiences depressive lows and manic highs, often causing turmoil in various types of relationships.
Borderline Personality Disorder – A condition involving swings between intense states including anger, sadness, emptiness and euphoria, as well as a feeling of disassociation to reality.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder – An unrealistic sense of self that often entails a feeling of superiority to others, as well as a lack of self awareness that causes toxicity within relationships.
Relationship Anxiety – Frequent feelings of insecurity surrounding the future of a relationship, even in the absence of significant challenges in the present. This anxiety is often a response to narratives stemming from past experiences related to one’s upbringing or prior relationships.
Therapy Interventions
CBT Therapy – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy involves examining how thoughts and emotions influence behaviors while focusing on rewiring negative thought patterns to create new behaviors.
DBT Therapy – Dialectical Behavior Therapy prioritizes accepting the realities of one’s life and leveraging that honesty to identify areas that must change. Only then can some people make strides toward their ultimate goals.
EFT Therapy – Based on the science of attachment, Emotionally Focused Therapy identifies toxic patterns within a relationship and pinpoints the role each partner plays, with the goal of choreographing a new pattern of interaction.
IFS Therapy – Internal Family Systems Therapy is based on the theory that everyone develops different parts that serve to protect, manage, cope with and escape negative emotions. These parts can also lead to self-sabotaging behaviors which require work to reconcile.
Mindfulness Therapy – Typically used for treating anxiety and depression, mindfulness refers to a group of techniques focused on shifting one’s attention to the present moment rather than future anxiety or fear stemming from the past.
Nonviolent Communication – A structured form of communication that incorporates empathy and understanding while aiming to avoid eliciting defensiveness. Rather than seeking to avoid conflict, nonviolent communication encourages productive solutions for handling disagreements.
